Closed for the Festive Season...Merry Xmas to all my readers.

... 4 days till I stop work for the festive season, its time to reflect on art sales and progress over the last few months...as a full time artist, chasing art fairs has not been a successful venture, nor holding group exhibitions. For me ,simple online gallery sales, commissions via normal/real-time gallery representation , has provided consistent income streams. Linkedin/Facebook/Twitter have collectively provided 1/3 of sales / commissions. Seems that a good on-line presence has been the key to survival and having 'affordable art.' Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my readers. 

Layers of Sand.....history...Christmas Time !

Every year I dread the run up to Christmas, not because I dislike the actual celebration or concept, but it always triggers my worst memories or events that were negative in concept or outcome....

Its the overall ambience I guess....as Christmas makes one reflective...on the what if  and if only...but then hindsight is a wonderful thing , post a cataclysmic shift in one's life....

I still firmly believe that life has so many variables and controlling influences that we have no knowledge of or control over...no matter how strong our resolve can seem to be...besides when someone else has the element of surprise , one is extremely vulnerable to outcome....how to avoid this...??

The last few months have seen me make a go of my art as my primary income source , without crutching on my teaching degrees and qualifications....yes, money has come in...slow at first, but increasing up until today...not enough to match my previous earnings...but what a sense of relief everyday to start my own work free of others judgement/ criticism and being ambushed !! That's the answer, to avoid those wolves bearing gifts, don't associate with them... I will never trust systems that embody secretive agendas or use the ambush method to prey on one's sensibilities... how easy to lose faith in leadership systems that disregard basic human dignity within the work place....

Everyday I wake up and don't have that burden or nagging / niggling feeling that I'm going to be smite from my comfort zone in some unexpected attack on my performance...or find myself in a situation that is beyond one's own control, by factors that will intentionally seek to make one's life as uncomfortable as possible....being self employed removes the stress of the unknown factors in daily routine...save being bombed by a black bird walking to my studio, my life outcomes have firmly been passed back to me....and that is worth all the money in the world.  Art is a wonderful occupation...but it has to sell consistently to be practised as a primary income stream. I will be placing new work at higher price levels in the Whitham Gallery in January...so will see how that works out...do I think I would ever go back to teaching full time...never...I distrust ''systems'' now...and that is sad, as in the past I've worked within some excellent transparent management systems that worked effectively, because there was transparency and honesty...
The last two years have made me realise that there are people in this world who see 'systems' as ladders for their own good and power plays. Sad , but true.....

So, back to layers of meaning and depth....I see every Christmas as another layer of sand poured over me...burying those awful events and memories for the next 365 days...till they somehow re-expose themselves in their ritual rising......I guess they are my ghosts of Christmas past and will always be all my regrets coming back to remind me that ultimately outcome is never predictable, and sometimes awful people are unavoidable in the journey of life.

Merry Christmas.

Sales Today...6 works WOW !!

Great day today...and it is a Friday..I sold 6 paintings...with each client buying 2 !! New record for me...

Now I can take Saturday off to go treasure hunting.....

One of my sales today.....long may it continue...

Bits and Bobs...

http://vimeo.com/79179138
enjoyed this clip...inspiring...been a busy week with meetings, exhibitions and working to produce stock....
Off to the Gallery this morning to restock sales area and add more work in the run up to xmas....
One commission this week plus work sold , all helps and some solid networking for the future...

The last few weeks have had me pondering volume verse fewer works with more time spent on them...not sure of the answer, as works taking weeks to complete have often stood for a year before being sold, and daily works sometimes move in 2 weeks and less?? Also subject matter seems complete pot luck..I see no thread in theme or genre...but just random sells . with no link to theme...so painting only one genre not the answer to regular sales as I have sold abstract through to very commercial xmas themes...and then trees? So not decided on only following one type or strain of depiction...will have to ponder this further..next week I will start with seascapes again, as my stocks in this area are low...

Staincliffe...a few sold..Gallery Sales.

Sold one medium size painting last night and some smaller Snowy Landscapes. And one of my tree paintings at the main Gallery. Also one new commission lined up.

Recognition by SAATCHI GALLERY, LONDON.

Had a great email telling me that I had a piece selected for the Pop Art Collection at SAATCHI. Very pleased, some recognition for all the long hours I've put in over the last few months...which is more than I can say about 10 years given to education , with no recognition or appreciation ...hmmm...wish I had seen the reality of being in an' invisible occupation' earlier...

Anyway really happy...I've added the screenshot below.

The Demons Return...

Had great news re sales news yesterday, 12 works sold in a day, which is an all time record for me...and that includes one man exhibitions over the years...so something must be coming right in pricing and volume...but still woke up at 4am with dark thoughts and nightmares concerning the last few months in the transition from teacher to a being a full time artist...certain people close to me have given me their full support while others, have been negative and sceptical..a pity when I'm working so hard to make this work...
I still am irritated that the smallest action by one situation, a one sided action, turned my life inside out and cost me so much time and stress, has not or will never be resolved...yes, I'm free of a dark situation and away from those who sought to control my life, but fighting a large organisation with hidden agendas has left me very dubious of teaching and the power players at the top of that food chain. Mental scarring I can now fully relate to , much like shell shock suffered by soldiers in conflict, it never goes away, but returns in waves of anxiety and self doubt , when least expected.

Would I ever want to work for someone else again, probably not, as have now realised I need to trust in myself and my own skills to take my career forward , without the meddling of others who hold to ransom one's labour over a salary that we as worker drones simply comply with as we believe we have no other option due to that awful thing called financial obligation....bills and like keep most of us in situations that no matter how bad and often degrading, we simply accept...believing there to be no other option for our lives..

Life is too short to challenge bad management and corrupt systems of employment, it is now in my opinion better to walk away and be the master of one's own fate and destiny...

Sure the smallest unknowns can ruin a life in minutes..but I guess one can never predict the actions of others, when they have planned a negative outcome without your knowledge...I guess I was ambushed and just never saw it coming...life can do this to us, the unexpected and sudden attack on one's security I must confess has been very draining emotionally , and still haunts me , at times like now at 4am in the morning...and that is the outcome of being ambushed and attacked....you are left alone to fight inner thoughts and dark demons....

For me, I have to remain focussed and try to forget the last 10 years as if they never existed, as there are too many demons embedded into my time given to helping others with nothing received....my time given to educating others has been challenging, draining and stressful, something which teaching should never be..

The hours in preparing lessons, marking and trying to 'perform' some magical act to convince others you are doing a great job are over for me...it's a stage show at most and means nothing when the audience has been non-receptive...sitting in the Gallery I watch my new audience look and discuss my art...never a negative comment, never a swear word uttered...the work I produce is appreciated , the time understood, and the labour carries a value....that is never up for debate....what a change after months of haggling over what my life is 'worth' , as a value....in pounds....hmmm, definite food for thought...

Now I just need to get back to sleep....that problem still needs to be resolved...somehow.

New Work Today.

32/28. £300.00.

Past and Thanks...

Just bumped into a lovely comment on a site for past pupils and staff of Oakhill, a fabulous school that I started my teaching career...how wonderful to see an appreciative student give praise to her time and tuition...(thankyou) makes me think at least the first 4 years were at least appreciated..can't say the last 10 were as wonderful....hmmm , must have been an enormous generation shift...and I got lost in the 'system' somehow...

Still Life Today...

Worked 10 hours today , painting still life compositions for the Witham Gallery in January. So three more wet paintings to find drying space for...

Press Release....recent newspaper article on my art...

New Work...

Back re-visiting seascapes again,,,rather pleased with the one on the easel..`have two other works in stages of progress ..sold one painting last week which gets shipped to a company collection. Small steps...have an exhibition at the Staincliffe Hotel on the 28th November. This week will see a focus on marinescapes and some still life genre.

                                          Sold...above. work below in progress.

Thoughts and things...Time will tell......

I have worked on floral designs and depictions this week, one more sale has been encouraging too. I can see the benefit of having online art for sale in a virtual gallery and real time work in a gallery for live viewing. January will see my work placed in another gallery in the North East, so two live galleries should help my sales further.I have created a range of work now , with prices to suit all budgets. I have noticed that keep work at £50 and lower , works move, so have created work for that market too. Means a little mass production and speed work, but that is a far better option than returning to teaching.....
Still reflecting a lot on the past 4 years , all the good times, all the bad , achievements and recognition....kind of puts things into perspective....I still marvel how one persons actions can set off a change of events that become magnanimous in outcome.....so much has changed in four years....I also realise how easy it is too be consumed by the wants of others in a role , merely for the sake of power play....and being dependant on a monthly wage...it is so sad that we as human beings set so much against the monthly wage....and compromise ourselves and our values just for security...sad but so true..being alone now in my own world...I marvel at how much I can do in a day art wise, without trying to just fit it in between marking and planning....or working during a holiday...at least full time now I can work in 8-9 hour runs of work without interruption.

I am certainly grateful for the time I have had to date working on building my portfolio and developing my art sales into a proper business model that actually pays all the bills...as someone once said to me...time will tell !!! I guess time has allowed me to move forwards, thankyou my dear friend !!

Ticking Time....

It has taken all of 7 months to realise that it is no good to simply ''do something'' because it is a job...its a waste of one,s time and life too...but so easy to do something that simply pays a wage...and then get trapped in that position...but sometimes we follow the easy route and simply just ...do the job because it is safe and secure...and there are those ever present financial obligations etc..most of us have them...

...however just having the time to be me again and to do/create what I enjoy....has been a blessing in the pursuit of balance and control. Control was taken away when I joined a large organisation some 11 years ago...and its only now that I have been able to throw off those chains of ''restriction and compromise'' , and take control of my own time again...at least I have now an 'appreciation' of what I achieve now...not simply being perceived as a pawn in a giant chess game that I had no control/influence of, but was merely a piece to be pushed in multiple directions without consultation...

Others were always playing games with my life, believing they somehow where superior in apparently knowing what was right or best , without even discussing topics/situations with me....that now has been wiped away...and as a result of that process...and having time to reflect on how people meddled with my career over the last 12 years , has brought me to the conclusion that I don't ever want to be a pawn again..
being free has allowed me to re focus on what is important to me and has allowed me to choose my own path....being away from those negative forces that sought to make my life difficult for their own pleasure....is a further blessing and makes me loathe to ever want to work for a large organisation again...self employed is perhaps the only logical path to follow...I guess I am just wary now of the ''gift bearers'' who had knives hidden behind presents!!!

This week will see me forge ahead with floral work, in the run up to Xmas...hope sales go well...love art , love life...freedom is good too.
https://www.artgallery.co.uk/work/130529

New Week

Have reshuffled my display at the Gallery, added some semi-commercial Xmas work , to offer a broader price range, to cater for all budgets.

Will be building work for the exhibition at the Staincliffe, over the next two weeks. Sold a small work yesterday...a sale is a sale...so that is a good start to the week...work in progress below...

As ''Time'' goes by...

THE LAST FEW DAYS HAVE REALLY MADE NE LOOK CAREFULLY AT WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME ....Art is where I want to be and working on new creative projects and ideas, is for me, extremely important and keeps me motivated moving forward, also being away from outside controlling forces, that push and pull me away from what is important to me career wise, is something I want to avoid at all costs. I guess I'll have to increase my work rate even further to stay away from negative influences  , that could pull me back into the world of ''sheepdom'', just working for a cheque, with no real intellectual reward or stimulation...did that for too long, wasted too many years just working to pay bills....can't go back down that road...have to make art sell and really need to  expand network faster and more effectively...its like a race right now..in my head I have a cut off date and have to be realistic about the income side of things...the last few months have allowed me to be who I want to be and what I'm most interested in pursuing as a career. Now its the time to pull all the hours of work together and generate some new sales in the run up to Xmas. I enjoy my own work space and controlling my own life, returning to work for something else or someone else would be contrary to all the sacrifice over the last few months...here is hoping to good sales over the next few months.
Links to new work are : https://www.artgallery.co.uk/work/130538
                                     https://www.artgallery.co.uk/work/

Negative Energy keeps me awake...

Woke up early this morning as could not sleep, so it seemed pointless staying in bed staring at the ceiling...I always wonder at the power of thought to redress issues that play upon our inner conciousness. Its thoughts pertaining to the last few months that keep coming back and getting me riled at 1am , 3am etc...

'A moss that gathers nothing, a bird singing a gib and a cold wind from the east....' funny , I wonder if those elements know what it is like to have a life disjointed and turned on its head....the fallout has been costly in terms of balance in my life , and walking down the art route now , constantly reinforces my belief in following a career now that is best for one as an individual, and not just pandering to what pays the most....also being free from the sheep syndrome of having to follow directives by default, because of being employed and following the party line creates less 'conflict'....nothing worse in life to have to work under the yoke of poor management that thinks 'its' power is absolute....power corrupts, absolute power corrupts completely.Seen it, been there, witnessed it first hand...

Can say one thing for certain, being free of elements that seek to repress or control, has been a blessing pover the last few months, it has allowed me to focus on what I want to do, what I want to avoid and how I wish to spend my life doing what I want to do and knot pandering to some else's ego...met too many of those over the last few years...art has been a great levelling tool of late...its allowed me just time to focus and think what I want from life and a career...I have moved away from the idea of simply joining a line of sheep and turning me life into a series of repetitive cycles just doing the same thing, over and over again...also tired of being judged ...as some sort of mark of ability....especially by those who just play the power game...

Being free from that now makes me realise how negative a process is employed and how subjective observations are...if you are a marked for extermination, the powers that be will make it near impossible to pass those so called tests of ones ability to do a dance....you can dance the jig of a life time, but if the
audience is disinterested, your efforts will go in vain...and the judge will castigate you...for their lack of involvement....something not right in that outcome...

We watch a film, and are there because we are interested in the story line , the genre etc, but its a choice nevertheless, yet in a classroom one is expected to find a totally engaged audience in what essentially is a show, attended without free will ...so of course there will be a level of disengagement..how can an individual be judged on others engagement to a topic? Something not right in that....I suppose education is moving down a very treacherous road with systems employed internally that are so subjective as to make the outcomes geared to favouritism and nepotism ......and certainly swing in favour of the latter...especially if you are in the circle.....artists by their nature on generally not in the circle, because they question....and one should never question in a system that is power absolute...however power absolute is not permanent... it allows sheep mentality to prevail , for a while, but then like Libya, the sheep get restless eventually...and the rest becomes is history...Gadaffi was power absolute, but we know today how redress was eventually achieved...and balance restored .

Time is a great healer they say, but I know that negative events that litter my life come back periodically to haunt my inner self and play upon my mind, normally twisting my thought pattern , just like it is happening all over again, making the past somehow feel its here and now...but in fact its old unresolved issues that return to dance and prod me..almost mocking...I hate those flashbacks...they create too much negativity in my mind..I think today I will walk on the beach, paint like there is no tomorrow and try and bury that jester that is keeping me from my sleep...rambling over and back to reality.....got to try shake the demons...some work from yesterday...

Of Sales....

Has been a busy few days crating and sending off work to clients. Two sales this month bodes well , but will need to to vastly increase this to remain at my chosen profession full time. Going to try some botanical paintings in the run up to Xmas to try and boost turn over. Returning to teach in any capacity would knock me back three steps, with all the work I've done over the last few months. Still not convinced about art fairs yet..seems very hit and miss. Will need to pursue some other outlets to expand my work into new areas and markets. Recent Sales below.

Mistakes...

Creativity is to allow yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. I like that quote, seems so apt somehow. Can be applied directly and figuratively to a wide range of life/learning implications and actions. Intended and unintended.

Been a week of mixed fortunes, sold a painting, which is always good, and nearly completed my new line shape and form series, shortly to be uploaded in complete form. Will be talking at the gallery on Friday night about my work too.

Sold work below with sister work.These works measure 34/40 inches, and are oil on canvas.The top one is now sold.

The lower one will retail at £200.00. They are painted in a Street Art style, much like popular works displayed as graffiti art.

...of destiny and events that steer a life path....

..they say its only one small decision taken by someone known or unknown that can set off a change in one's life that sets you off on a journey that is often well beyond your control. I still marvel at how this happened to me over the years with others playing a god like role in deciding what they thought was the right outcome to a situation without consulting me...or fully comprehending the mammoth implications of their actions on my life and my choices....sometimes these individuals have a hidden agenda, other times its pure malice and spite. Sometimes it is a combination of all of these factors. The excuse , sometimes its for the greater good or  your benefit , are phrases that mean nothing...words simply strung together to avoid the the real reason or truth. I do not believe that anyone has the right to alter another human beings life choices without proper consultation and discussion about changes in practice. These decisions have often led to stress, isolation and feelings of being set up , without rhyme or reason. 'Said individuals' took such decisions nearly a year ago without even considering the impact or long term implications of their actions. Their intent could be seen as nothing more than pure malice, and a hunger to control. These traits I detest, if such people were all around me daily , I would need to move to an uninhabited island. Unfortunately when you have to co-habit work spaces with such individuals , you will be prone to living and working in a suspicious environment that cultivates a conspiracy atmosphere in your daily routine. Nothing worse than trying to do a job to the best of your ability if its in a non-trusting environment.

Playing and toying with someone's life , as if you see them as nothing but a stepping stone or someone to castigate because you thirst for hunger of promotion...is a devious path to follow. Over the last few years I have had the misfortune to work with such individuals, my daily routine was a game of poker, never KNOWING what cards were being held or had been dealt, and having to second guess every action or ''play'' of such individuals on a daily basis. This became so draining mentally and affected every area of my life, my art suffered terribly, I could not find the inspiration and drive I now have..what a pity, all my positivity robbed by said individuals who never thought beyond their political ambitions.

To now own ''my space'' and business/company, has been a refreshing change, my faith in basic human decency now restored as I meet and work with genuine people who are not trying to play the god game with me. This is life. It seems that for seem reason, I landed up in a pit of blackness, surrounded by a succession of so called managers and leaders who all suffered from said god syndrome. I once heard it said that the worst often get further in life , than more sincere people...not sure...but know I have had my fair share of exposure to these dark souls....now its happy creative people who care about the sunset and doing a good turn...what a breath of fresh air. Perhaps karma will now reset all that injustice that prevailed for so long , making my life ,unbearable at times. Art needs to be produced in an environment that is happy, free from stress and conducive to creating free thought without the weight of oppressive personalities. I do believe I have found a happy space now, to enjoy , savour and be just me. And for that freedom , I am truly grateful.
Funny, that word , ''freedom'' means so much more to me now.

Of Threads and Other Things...

Been hard at work on an abstract and urban art mix-cross over theme , at present. Sales are up with now 3 happening in fast succession...which bodes well for the coming months. It seems the greater volume I produce , the more effective is the end result...still not convinced about the reliability of Fairs down South...seems online more effective on the whole and there is no outlay upfront...so will rethink that sales avenue. Works below all oil on canvas and retail at £500.00 on my site.Sizes on the main site too.

September, of this and that. 'Urban Art'.

September has arrived , now nearly gone and its the first month that I have been not involved in teaching and academia. I have had time over the last few months to reflect on 23 years of time given to the education of others and what I have gained from the experience. Having worked within so many different spheres of education, I can honestly concur that the early days were indeed the most productive and rewarding for me as a teacher. Prescriptive and judgmental forms of teaching over the last few years, Up north,  were definitely the most stressful , and teaching should never be that. I do believe it should be a happy and rewarding experience. Circumstances have had it that I have worked within a very challenging environment , coupled with continuous change within management and , and not always the most efficient or friendly individuals to have to work with or receive criticism from. Judging learning and progress of learners ,  I do believe can be so subjective in the current systems  employed, with the teacher often judged on the behavior and learning of others as some sort of benchmark of their teaching ability. I do not agree with this, as the outcome in learning and development is long term, and when one has put so much in to a lesson, to have it judged by the reaction of a non-engaged audience, fickle in nature, the process reverts essentially to a gambling scenario, which could swing either way , when judged by an observer. It's this process I abhor, as it is stressful and for the teacher whose ultimate performance is graded on a scale of the audiences engagement?! An audience could be receptive or disengaged on any given day, and no matter how well prepared you were, the daily outcome of lessons could never be predicted. I do not miss that. When I create art on a daily basis, it generally works out as planned. Colours and design working together to achieve balance and harmony.

I do not miss teaching, well not the last few years. Days at Oakhill , a small school, where I started teaching were fun, exciting and engaging. Friendly staff made that experience a pleasure and the daily routine was never a grind, but a happy time to savor life and enjoy the process of helping to inspire students. The last few years I have been confronted with often hostile learners who would resort to destroying every lesson I prepared, trying to breakdown the process of learning to suit some whimsical notion that being literate is non-essential as a life skill. This has no doubt affected my mindset when creating art over the last few years, dark colours, somber scenes lie now in my storage, symbols of a dark time , in a dark place.

Now it's brighter colours, happier themes and a fresh outlook to life is returning as the distant memories of a time and place that took so much from what makes life worthwhile, fade.

Its a wonderfully refreshing thought to start work in my studio everyday , away from those who sought to repress so much of what I value in life. To be away from the internal politics, the negative comments the 'impossible targets' of a non engaged audience...ahh the list goes on.

When one works in an environment that is entrenched with suspicion and insecurity, the daily routine of teaching becomes a case study in survival. Certainly over the last few months, I felt that insecurity in a profession I essentially gave the best and most productive years of my life. But, one eventually gets tired of fighting and defending on all fronts, without support from the very people around you to see 'sense', its often better to just walk away. No job is worth destroying your life happiness. I guess I'm just sad that I gave so much , but have so little to show for all those years of service, in essentially an unappreciative environment.

I find myself so often lately, convincing myself to work towards catching up with 23 years of lost time, within my art. I work sometimes 9-11 hours a day , trying to reel in the lost years...but art, takes time, to develop, to grow and arrive at some conclusion, which some call a thread...not quite  there yet, I guess I'll know when I have.Hindsight is a wonderful virtue, but when I look back now over the last ten years , I see how much time I have lost , in a life that should have been just making and creating. Being in a destructive environment is in direct conflict with being a creative spirit, working in a prescriptive environment even more damaging...

Long live art, being free and creative is where I want to be.

  

Camo Art Continues.

My exploration of this theme continues this month with 5 large works now complete. Some off to the Gallery in Barnard Castle , the others off to New Artist Fair , London at the end of the week. Not sure what the reception will be, but sold one this s month , so here is hoping to a good week of sales. It will be my first month in many years not returning to academia at term start, but teaching and the politics that went with it, are now very far behind me. I wake , eat and sleep art ideas, something that has not been possible over the last few years due to teaching and studying. Now, its my time, my art and I can just be focused on one theme at a time , without rushing!! Before it was trying to fit art in between planning lessons, now its free to just happen. Some of my new work below.

These works are all 34/40 Inches and will go on sale at £500-700.

New Art Fair - London 2013 and NEST.

Lots on the go this month with exhibition month end in London, hoping for some sales, sigh...and then to set up my permanent exhibition at Nest Gallery in Durham, that will be both for painting and some sculpture, which will be good as for some reason , online sales of sculpture are poor...yet in a gallery they seem to sell a lot more easily.
Two new paintings are below, they will be making the journey to London.

September 2013 Exhibition, London.

Invites for September Exhibition, currently at the printer.

Trying New Feeds !!

Online Monitoring by SocialAppsHQ

Trying to upload live feeds...:(

Tweets by @cawdor43

New Series of Work for upcoming exhibition. September 6-8th , London, New Artist Fair.

Countdown to London Exhibition. 2013.

So its only a few weeks to the exhibition in London...hotel booked, pictures at the framer ready for collection on Friday, crating started...studio being insulated and enlarged... so much going on...hope it all works out...next DHL to contact..
Below is the E-Flyer put out by the Gallery.

U tube Clip..the Voice !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtlOAWPd4rY

This is link to my week's selection of paintings...from 38 down to the best examples...

I have worked solidly 12 hours a day for 3 weeks now on various themes and techniques around landscape, 'treescape' and colour and form deconstruction . The outcome is starting to appear now on my easel at painting number 38. The cobwebs are slowly vanishing as my painting eyes begin to become fitter now after too many years of distractions and events that turned my art production on it's head. Should have been working this hard ten years ago...sigh...but then fate always seems to trip me up..somehow...and work blocked a way forward...
Below two of my latest works...they are very large paintings at 46 by 42/38. They will on Exhibition in London over the summer. There will be one more to join this pair...

New work today...last small canvas before the larger formats begin.

New Work 2013.

April Series....enjoying these progressions.