September, of this and that. 'Urban Art'.

September has arrived , now nearly gone and its the first month that I have been not involved in teaching and academia. I have had time over the last few months to reflect on 23 years of time given to the education of others and what I have gained from the experience. Having worked within so many different spheres of education, I can honestly concur that the early days were indeed the most productive and rewarding for me as a teacher. Prescriptive and judgmental forms of teaching over the last few years, Up north,  were definitely the most stressful , and teaching should never be that. I do believe it should be a happy and rewarding experience. Circumstances have had it that I have worked within a very challenging environment , coupled with continuous change within management and , and not always the most efficient or friendly individuals to have to work with or receive criticism from. Judging learning and progress of learners ,  I do believe can be so subjective in the current systems  employed, with the teacher often judged on the behavior and learning of others as some sort of benchmark of their teaching ability. I do not agree with this, as the outcome in learning and development is long term, and when one has put so much in to a lesson, to have it judged by the reaction of a non-engaged audience, fickle in nature, the process reverts essentially to a gambling scenario, which could swing either way , when judged by an observer. It's this process I abhor, as it is stressful and for the teacher whose ultimate performance is graded on a scale of the audiences engagement?! An audience could be receptive or disengaged on any given day, and no matter how well prepared you were, the daily outcome of lessons could never be predicted. I do not miss that. When I create art on a daily basis, it generally works out as planned. Colours and design working together to achieve balance and harmony.

I do not miss teaching, well not the last few years. Days at Oakhill , a small school, where I started teaching were fun, exciting and engaging. Friendly staff made that experience a pleasure and the daily routine was never a grind, but a happy time to savor life and enjoy the process of helping to inspire students. The last few years I have been confronted with often hostile learners who would resort to destroying every lesson I prepared, trying to breakdown the process of learning to suit some whimsical notion that being literate is non-essential as a life skill. This has no doubt affected my mindset when creating art over the last few years, dark colours, somber scenes lie now in my storage, symbols of a dark time , in a dark place.

Now it's brighter colours, happier themes and a fresh outlook to life is returning as the distant memories of a time and place that took so much from what makes life worthwhile, fade.

Its a wonderfully refreshing thought to start work in my studio everyday , away from those who sought to repress so much of what I value in life. To be away from the internal politics, the negative comments the 'impossible targets' of a non engaged audience...ahh the list goes on.

When one works in an environment that is entrenched with suspicion and insecurity, the daily routine of teaching becomes a case study in survival. Certainly over the last few months, I felt that insecurity in a profession I essentially gave the best and most productive years of my life. But, one eventually gets tired of fighting and defending on all fronts, without support from the very people around you to see 'sense', its often better to just walk away. No job is worth destroying your life happiness. I guess I'm just sad that I gave so much , but have so little to show for all those years of service, in essentially an unappreciative environment.

I find myself so often lately, convincing myself to work towards catching up with 23 years of lost time, within my art. I work sometimes 9-11 hours a day , trying to reel in the lost years...but art, takes time, to develop, to grow and arrive at some conclusion, which some call a thread...not quite  there yet, I guess I'll know when I have.Hindsight is a wonderful virtue, but when I look back now over the last ten years , I see how much time I have lost , in a life that should have been just making and creating. Being in a destructive environment is in direct conflict with being a creative spirit, working in a prescriptive environment even more damaging...

Long live art, being free and creative is where I want to be.